Avoid the Trees or Follow the Path? The Key to Overcoming Obstacles in Work and Life

A fascinating aspect of human psychology is our brain's struggle to process negatives. For instance, if I tell you not to think of an elephant riding a bicycle, what's the first thing that pops into your mind? An elephant riding a bicycle, of course. In fact, this unexpected image may prompt deeper thought as your brain tries to "make sense" of it. This exercise highlights a principle: telling ourselves or others not to do something often backfires by focusing our attention on the very thing we aim to avoid.

This principle has implications for how we frame our thoughts and goals. Often, we get caught in negative self-talk, dwelling on our limitations or obstacles. "I can't find a parking space," or "I can't get this right," we tell ourselves, reinforcing a mindset of limitation and impossibility. But what if we shifted our perspective to the affirmative? Instead of dwelling on what we can't do, we start to focus on what we can do, saying, "I'm going to keep trying," or "I will find a solution."

Positive framing's importance reaches beyond self-improvement, shaping how we communicate with everyone, children included. Instead of saying "Don't eat on the couch," guiding a child with "Eat at the table" is more effective. This way, we're directing their attention toward the desired action, not the prohibition.

Pilots are taught to avoid phrases like "Don't hit the obstacle," because such directives make the obstacle the focus of their attention, increasing the likelihood of a collision. Where you focus is where you will go.

Similarly, skiers navigating through trees find success not by focusing on avoiding the trees but by concentrating on the path they want to take. Watching from the outside, you probably think "How do they avoid those trees?" This question makes the obstacles the focus. The real question is "How do they follow the path?" Skiers remind themselves to "Follow the path," effectively tuning out the trees and focusing solely on the snow ahead. There are no obstacles. There is only the pathway through.

This principle also applies to our careers and personal lives. If we fixate on the obstacles we face, they will consume our attention and energy, making them seem insurmountable. However, if we shift our focus to the path forward, identifying and pursuing our goals, the obstacles become peripheral. We see the opportunities, not barriers.

We can let our view of our career and personal journey be dominated by the obstacles in our way, or we can choose to focus on the path through them. It's all about perspective. By consciously framing our thoughts and directions in the positive, we can unlock our potential and open up a world of possibilities. Remember, it's not just about avoiding the negatives; it's about embracing the path forward with clarity and confidence.